Mr Burns Casino Quotes
Ned: Come on Homer, I'm insisting on a fisting.
Smithers: What's this about a fisting?
- Permalink: Come on Homer, I'm insisting on a fisting. What's this about a...
- Added:
Smithers: Can I have a scotch and water?
Moe: My scotch is a scotch and water.
- Oh don't worry, by the time this paid political announcement is done every Johnny Lunchpail in this whole stupid state will be eating out of my hand. I'm Montgomery Burns, your next governor and I'm hear to talk to you about my little friend here, Blinky. Many of you consider him to be a hideous genetic mutation.
- Burns Quotes Lenny: No, mine was rubber mats in the decontamination showers, also water in the decontamination showers.
- Team Homer - Reading MAD Magazine Bart: 'What higher power do TV evangelists worship?' Milhouse: I'll say Jesus. Bart: 'The almighty dollar'? Skinner: As I was saying, my yearly evaluation couldn't have come at a better time. Chalmers: Well, Seymour, I must say for once, I am impressed. In fact, I am going to give this school a perfect ten. lifts clipboard I'll just write.
- Permalink: Can I have a scotch and water? My scotch is a scotch and water...
- Added:
Smithers: They're fighting like Iran and Iraq!
Mr. Burns: What?
Smithers: Persia and Mesopotamia.
Burns: The plant's first annual Fourth of July company picnic is this upcoming weekend. Homer Simpson: Woo-hoo! Burns: No, you misunderstand. The picnic is for me. You will all be spending our Day of Independence slaving away at my mansion under the hot summer sun, without pay, water, or gratitude. Homer Simpson: D'oh! Enjoy these twenty-four Mr. Burns quotes that will make you say “hey, at least I don’t work for him”: And if you liked this post, be sure to check out these popular posts: The 75 Most Hilarious Homer Simpson Quotes Of All Time 50 Of The Funniest Simpsons Quotes Ever Twenty Of The Greatest Ralph Wiggum Quotes.
- Permalink: They're fighting like Iran and Iraq! What? Persia and Mesopo...
- Added:
(Smithers is on fire, while Mr. Burns is washing his car.)
Smithers: Sir, help me!
Mr. Burns: Why should I? You're not helping me.
Smithers: But sir, I'm flaming!
(Mr. Burns looks at the camera with an odd expression)
- Permalink: Sir, help me! Why should I? You're not helping me. But sir, ...
- Added:
(During the opening credits, Mr. Burns acts as the Crypt Keeper from Tales from the Crypt.)
Mr. Burns: Hello, boils and ghouls. I am the crypt-keeper, or should I say master of scary-i-monies? (Laughs)
(Smithers interrupts Mr. Burn's opening speech.)
Smithers: (Laughs) Priceless sir, you made the word ceremonies frightening.
Mr. Burns: I know what I did. Urghh.
- Permalink: Hello, boils and ghouls. I am the crypt-keeper, or should I say ...
- Added:
(Mr. Burns and Smithers visit the morgue.)
Mr. Burns: Ah, nothing lifts my spirits like shopping. Let's see, (Points) I'll take his liver, a case of Adam's apples, (Points) that motorcycle man's mustache.
Smithers: Oh, the money you've contributed to anti-helmet laws has really paid off, sir.
Mr. Burns: Well, young people are my future.
- Permalink: Ah, nothing lifts my spirits like shopping. Let's see, I'll tak...
- Added:
(Smithers helps Mr. Burns shop for a cell phone.)
Smithers: What happened to that mini-cell phone I gave you, sir?
Mr. Burns: Ooh, I thought that was a lemon drop.
(Mr. Burns stomach suddenly vibrates.)
Smithers: I'll go get the number de-listed.
- Permalink: What happened to that mini-cell phone I gave you, sir? Ooh, I ...
- Added:
Smithers: I'm so happy I could hug you.
Mr. Burns: And have me smell like cheap drug store cologne the rest of the day? You may hug my shadow.
- Permalink: I'm so happy I could hug you. And have me smell like cheap dru...
- Added:
He was more than a friend. He was the reason I got up in the morning because he would inject me with coffee at six in the morning in the back of the head.
- Permalink: He was more than a friend. He was the reason I got up in the mo...
- Added:
Smithers: Mr. Simpson, are you listening? (Homer eats an orange) Simpson?!
Homer: Huh? Yeah, I was listening. Very funny.
Moe: Oh, you were not! You were just eating a damn orange.
Homer: Well, yes, yes, to the untrained eye, I'm eating an orange, not to the eye that has brains; I'm making a point about marriage! For you see, marriage is a lot like an orange. First, you have the skin...then the sweet, sweet innards... (devours it)
- Permalink: Mr. Simpson, are you listening? Simpson?! Huh? Yeah, I was li...
- Added:
Mr. Burns: Careful, Smithers, that sponge has corners you know.
Smithers: I'll go find a spherical one, sir.
- Permalink: Careful, Smithers, that sponge has corners you know. I'll go f...
- Added:
Oh my God, Mr. Burns is dead! Why do the good always die so young?
- Permalink: Oh my God, Mr. Burns is dead! Why do the good always die so youn...
- Added:
The Simpsons Quotes
Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!
- Permalink: The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles tri...
- Recent Views: 31
Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why, I cannot say. Where, you cannot know. How I will get there, I haven't decided yet. But one thing I can tell you, any time I hear the wind blow it will whisper the name Edna. And so let us part with a love that will echo through the ages. ---Woodrow
'Woodrow'- Permalink: Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why, I cannot say. Where, you ca...
- Recent Views: 23
Mr Burns Casino Quotes History
The Simpsons
